Why I'm Not Afraid To Talk About My Health

*A post for CF Week 2018*

I’ve just finished putting my tablets together in my rainbow coloured weekly tablet box. A job I do on a Sunday afternoon. A very tedious but important task nonetheless.

Now, there’s a reason why I’ve started this post the way I have (bear with me please!)

A long time ago, before Instagram was invented and Love Island never even came across as overly popular, unfortunately it has now *sighs grumpily*, as was me never breathing (excuse the pun) a word about my illness.

In high school, I was ridiculed because of my appearance. The way I looked was sometimes the result of Cystic Fibrosis (chipmunk cheek syndrome due to frequent intake of steroids). But me being totally stupid by thinking I would make things worse by saying that I couldn't help it and that they should just go and jump off the Transporter Bridge, I never said a word about what was actually wrong with me.

I was always on tenterhooks by people’s reactions. I’ve never been one for attention, I more and less hate grabbing the headlines. I’d rather shy away in the corner like a little mouse. That's why I never discussed it with anyone. It is pretty difficult to keep a lid on something such as Cystic Fibrosis!

Cystic Fibrosis is a tricky one to explain. Even now I still struggle to give a good detailed explanation of what the illness is and I bloody have it!

Like I said, years ago, I never felt comfortable in talking about CF to anyone, not even my closest friends. I was too nervous about the questions people would ask, because, believe me, I’ve had some humdinger of questions in the past, Only one of my best friends Tasha made me see that talking about it shouldn’t be so taboo. She has a daughter with CF so she understands how hard it is.

She made me see that I should NEVER feel uncomfortable in any way talking about CF and letting people know what it’s like and how hard it is.

She was right, why should I have to hide my illness away from others?! Not just strangers, but my loved ones too?! Obviously my loved ones know I’m ill, I’m not THAT secretive, if I were, I'd be the best spy MI5 could ever wish to have. But I used to choose to just say those famous words “I’m fine” whenever they asked how I was. It was easier to say that so it wouldn't draw any questions.

But I shouldn’t shy away, I could be and am now one of thousands helping to raise awareness for the illness.

Now fast forward to 2018, I’m very much more vocal and honest when it comes to explaining CF, well, I won't go as far as to talk about bowel habits, but I won’t hide it anymore. It’s a part of who I am, I won’t let it define me, but it’s with me all the time and I shouldn’t be afraid of the questions people ask, I should just answer them and be up front and honest. I won't paint the picture to strangers I talk to online or even people who give me evil looks every time I park in a disabled space even though my badge is clearly displayed on the panel of my car that Cystic Fibrosis is like sunshine and unicorns flying. There's no reason to not be honest about my illness.

Lucy