P A G E 323 I'm feeling a little weary after this weekend. It's been my busiest weekend for a long while. I enjoyed it nevertheless! Anyway, i…
A refreshing Autumnal walk to start my day. I've never been to Tredegar House before, which is unbelievable considering it's about a 10 minute drive from my house. I shall be coming back again for another walk, mainly to take some more Insta-worthy photos. The mind of a blogger, eh?Lovely walk in Tredegar House this morning with @saffronbierczak and her little lady Seren 💕🐾 pic.twitter.com/NtbfKgG7G2— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 19, 2018
I might need your opinion on this everyone, when is it too early to listen to Christmas songs?
Yes, I have Mariah Carey's Christmas classic playing in my house this afternoon, if my Mam was home, she'd tell me to switch it off, shouting "It's too bloody early!". Plus I can have a good singing session in my living room!Put the sound on for this one...🎄🥰 pic.twitter.com/duUXIHch37— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 19, 2018
I need to pop out and get a couple of things from Home Bargains. Wet wipes and car mats. As you do.
That's a sign of a mature adult. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.I know you’re an adult when you’re happy buying car mats 🚘😂🤦🏻♀️— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 19, 2018
Yes, this was one of my errands - picking up a parcel from New Look. Yes, it was my favourite errand to do. The rust coloured trousers are my favourite I think, probably because they were £10 in a sale. Also they're elasticated, I've got to an age where I like elasticated trousers. You'd think I was 85 not 25!A little mini trouser shopping spree at @newlook 🛍💁🏻♀️ pic.twitter.com/GXlZ1fCWla— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 20, 2018
My cat doesn't like my singing voice. You'd think he was Simon Cowell the way he is looking at me.I’m singing in the living room and my cat is giving me such a disapproving look 🙈😂🎤— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 20, 2018
Black Friday is on the horizon and all the online stores I have an account with are sending me countless emails with their deals and offers for the upcoming Friday. The day where everyone is going to go bat shit crazy and find the best deals and push people out of the way to grab a new TV. People aren't surely resorting to violence to get a Sony TV surely?!The Black Friday deals landing in my inbox 📨👩🏻💻🤯 pic.twitter.com/MKZwE7Zkbk— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 21, 2018
After being stuck in traffic for 45 minutes coming home from work, I need to do a workout to let all my stresses out. Normally that would be Pilates, but I want to try something a little different -
I think my abs are going to be killing me in the morning. But in a way, I don't mind too much, it shows I've done a good workout! I may not think that tomorrow morning though!I’ve just done a Joe Wicks abs workout and I feel like all the muscles in my core are slowly dying 😩— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 21, 2018
I've only just realised there we're ten days away from the 1st December! There is one thing I am looking forward to, it may sound weird to some mind -
Yeah, I know, weird. It's just the mind of a blogger.I can’t wait to give my Pinterest a complete Christmas overhaul 🎄✨📌— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 21, 2018
I've come home from work feeling worse than I did this morning. I suppose that's right, working with kids does take it out of you. Right, let's get some sleep, well, after I'm a Celebrity.Is it possible to have double zero energy? 😴— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 22, 2018
Believe it or not, I kind of like the hustle and bustle of the shopping rush. Well, not where people start pushing and shoving each other to get the good TV's on sale, but just seeing everyone trying to get a bargain and frantically trying to find the jumper or dress they want in their size. You always hear a lot of swearing around on Black Friday!I’m not happy that I’m not going shopping for Black Friday 😒 #BlackFriday2018— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 23, 2018
Oh yeah, Charlie (my cat) has a new friend -
Yes this is Brian, A good house guest, doesn't speak much and just sits there quietly. He cost £20 in Home Bargains and he is massive!My cat and Brian the elf (my Mam has bought the elf for her school Christmas fete 🙈) I’ve given him the name Brian 😂 pic.twitter.com/nhNFyVjzhZ— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 23, 2018
Right, work has been and gone, I'm home and after a long week, it's time -
I need a glass or two to unwind tonight, cheers!Cheers to the fricking weekend! 😁🍷 pic.twitter.com/C6ZJE5DvUf— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 23, 2018
Oh I have missed this football. International football is too boring. Right, I've got to get motivated to get up out of bed. One thing I struggle with in the colder months is getting out of bed in the morning. These are days I want to be a hibernator. Sleep all day. Now that would be bliss.Proper football is back today! ♥️⚽️🙌🏻😁 pic.twitter.com/v3tvQxOBp4— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 24, 2018
I've come back from the chemist to get my prescription and then New Look to pick up a parcel and I've already fallen in love -
I cannot wait to wear these. I've got about 14 outfit ideas with these puppies. Right, let's go and do a bit of food shopping then come home and wash my hair.These boots 🥰🐆 @newlook pic.twitter.com/Mh42NRWOBi— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 24, 2018
Now, it's time for Liverpool.
*Update - a 3-0 win. Get in!
— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 24, 2018Absolutely buzzing right now!
I am feeling slightly undermotivated to do anything today. Well that was until I just looked at my car and realised how blogging it looked. Because I drive through the lanes to work during the end of the week, it gets dirty incredibly easily. Right, I better give it a clean.Finding the motivation to do things on a Sunday is incredibly hard 😬— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 25, 2018
I've just driven to Halfords to get something for my car. It was tyre pressure caps as one of mine seemed to be missing from my front tyre. Strange but true. Anyway, I've just come back to my car and I spot something rather disgusting but also highly annoying -
Thanks birdie. Time for another wash on my one side of my car when I get home now.Thank you to that bird who just s**t on my car an hour after I’d washed it 🐦💩🙄— Lucy Taylor (@LucyMaryTaylor) November 25, 2018
Here are my favourite blog posts from November: 1) Why I'm Scared of Instagram | Hannah Mary I read this post thinking "Hallelujah! Someone …
I've only just remembered that I've been blogging for two whole years now! I can still remember the day when I published my Wix site, feeling incredibl…
P A G E 316 It sounds like a herd of elephants are trampling all over my roof this morning. My neighbour is having his roof done and you can imagine ho…
Being bullied made me feel like I was an outsider for so long in school. I wanted to act like everyone else, but I knew that I couldn’t and the worst thing is - I was made to think there was something wrong with me. I was made to feel that the person I was brought up to be was uncharacteristic and just plain weird. I wasn’t one for smoking behind the trees in school (even if I was healthy I wouldn’t touch a cigarette) or walking around with a huge group of my classmates who I barely talk to for no apparent reason than to talk shit about others. I had more respect for the people who I was going to sit next to in lessons, even if I didn’t talk to them. At the end of the day, it’s about morals and values.
There’s always those expressions and clichés society use to tell you how to tackle bullying and what you should do if you are in that demoralising situation, whether it be at school or even a workplace.
Now, I can’t talk about bullying in the workplace because I haven’t had much experience in it (thankfully) I can only draw from my (bad) bullying experience in school.
Society stresses to the victims of bullying that it makes you stronger. Does it though?
It depends on the person. I mean, I can only speak for myself with what I think about how bullying has affected me.
Bullying made me a shadow of my former primary school self. My confidence took a nose dive in comprehensive school and my self-esteem hasn't truly recovered. Which is unfortunately quite sad.
I still get flashbacks from my comprehensive school days. They play back through my mind like an old video tape whenever I take a selfie, ones which are particularly close up in the facial department. I think back to all the shocking and belittling things my so called 'friends' used to say to me about my appearance, my looks and just about me in general. All the vile, humiliating remarks they said to me not just online on MSN, but to my face too and also behind my back. Even though I always found out, well gossip in school can spread around like wild fire. That's where the low self-esteem really takes hold of my mind. Also a strong sense of paranoia.
I suffer with terrible paranoia. I’m always wondering why people look at me randomly in the street if I’m walking past them or what people think of my latest selfie which I’ve posted in social media. If people look at me and laugh, I’m wondering if they’re laughing at me maliciously. I know, that sounds quite bad. It’s not that I’m self centred, it’s the result of being ridiculed in school for many years.
Will I ever 'cure' my paranoia? Only time will tell, I hope I can shut out those feelings and finally be able to feel more confident and less anxious about what others think.
Let's try and end this on a positive note! I don't want to make it sound like I didn't have one single friend in school. I had friends but one in particular was my only best friend in comp and we've known each other since we started nursery together. 22 years later, she's still my best friend and I wouldn't have got through school without her. She was my rock during that horrid time.
Halfway through the post, I asked myself the question if being bullied makes you stronger. I definitely think it can in some way. It can make you incredibly strong minded and more empathetic towards others. With me, I'm very protective and will defend my friends and family till kingdom come. I don't want them to go through what I went through and also feel the same way as I did in school. I can't bear the thought of that happening.
But if you are being bullied, please don't feel your worthless or unworthy, because you are NOT. You are the better person they those bullies will ever be. You will go on to do bigger and better things than they will, then you can rub it in their faces when you've got a high paying job and their sat on their arses at home watching Jeremy Kyle.
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