I've not written a really personal post like this in a long time. But I think it's something I feel ready to talk about as I hope my words can help others. I don't think I've ever discussed the topic of weight on my blog before. I've talked about all aspects relating to CF and mental health, but not the topic of weight. 


So here goes...


Weight, I've always struggled with it. With having Cystic Fibrosis, weight has always been a hot topic with the dietitian at my clinic. All my life, weight gain has always been the key to staying well. As my pancreas doesn't produce sufficient enzymes to digest all the nutrients and fats in the foods I eat, I not only need to take tablets called Creon to help digest food but eat a high-calorie diet to help increase my weight. As a kid, this was never an issue. All the McDonald's and chip shop teas I could want! 

A woman sat on a bed

Even in my early twenties, this high-calorie diet was never a problem. But I don't know, these days it's becoming a real growing problem. People may read this and think "What have you got to moan about?! You get to eat all the good stuff all of the time!". Yeah, it does sound great on paper, but in reality, it's not fun for me anymore. 


Since starting Kaftrio, a miracle drug for the majority of people with CF, my weight has become a growing issue. I'm looking in the mirror and feeling very dissatisfied with how I look. I kind of feel hypocritical saying all this though. I'm all for championing women of all sizes and being proud of their bodies regardless. Why can't I do the same for myself? Over the last 2 years, I have gained a little confidence in posting photos on Instagram with my midriff on show or in my bra. But even then, there's about 70 odd takes on my Canon before I feel reasonably happy with THE perfect photo. 


Social media, I feel, has had a part to play in terms of how I look at myself. The whole weight and social media stigma can be very damaging to our wellbeing and have a psychological effect. It may not just be yourselves, but your friends, family or even your favourite content creator may feel this way about their weight and body image. Then you see those diet style profiles that are being promoted on our feeds. Those profiles promoting diet pills, fad diets etc really boil my piss. It completely sends out the wrong message to young people who feel pressured to looking a certain way.

A woman sat on bed with phone and glasses.

I know full well that losing weight or dieting could be detrimental to my health. But I can't shake off the feeling that the extra podge I've gained needs to go. I will talk things through with my CF team next time I see them and hopefully come up with a plan to appease both parties. One thing I will not do is go on one of those protein shake diets - they're a big fat no from me and I would never jeopardise my health by trying those. 


When I've told friends about how I feel I need to lose weight, they turn to me and say "You don't need to lose weight!". Why can't I believe them? Is it because I've brainwashed myself into believing that I do? I know that my friends mean well, don't get me wrong! 

A woman sat on bed holding a white mug.

I hope I can safely say that we have all experienced a time, however long, where we've gone through a period of hating our bodies due to weight gain, or even weight loss. Currently, this is what I'm going through right now. I'm not going to sit here and write that this is a phase and that it'll just pass. It's going to take work from myself to allow myself to love my body and be happy with how it looks. Being happy with my body is a process which will take time. It's time that I am more than happy to take so that I can love my body for what it is. I want to restart championing loving our bodies for how they look. Before I do that though, I need to learn to love my own first. 


If you can relate to anything I have written in this post, please let me know! You can also DM me on any of my social media channels if you need or want to talk in more depth privately. 


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*This post features PR items from IDentity Lingerie. See the end of the post for more details.


I stated in a previous post that my morning routine was so important for me to start my day right. But what about at the end of the day? When it's time to switch off and settle for the night ahead? Well, I'm here to tell you that the nighttime routine is just as important to me as the morning one is! 


The nighttime routine is one that can really help you relax after a long day. One that, if you get it right, can help you have the best night's sleep. Obviously, all routines, no matter what time of day, are personal to yourself and self-care and routines are different for everybody. 

IDentity lingerie pink silk pyjamas on a white bed.

I can't say that my nighttime routine is as specific as my morning routine is. I think as my day usually starts at around the same time, it doesn't necessarily end at the same time every day. You know, socialising and that can mean my nighttime routine may start a little later than planned. 


Planning a nighttime routine doesn't need to be too difficult. It's just about doing the things that you like to do before going to sleep at night. 


So here you have it, my personal nighttime routine (in a not too specific order):

IDentity lingerie pink silk pyjamas.

1) Do my evening medications

My medications are a huge part of my daily routine. But thankfully, there's not so many to inhale or swallow in the nighttime! I quickly get these done during my evening before heading upstairs to bed. 

2) Whip my bra off

Ladies, I have a confession to make - my bra NEVER gets removed until right before bedtime! I know, the shame of it. As I have big breasts though, I don't like to go without a bra until I go to bed. I hope to God I'm not the only woman who feels this way! However, I do love the feeling of whipping it off after a long day, it's a very satisfying feeling! This bralette from IDentity Lingerie is just gorgeous. The lace detailing is so intricate and I love the crossover straps on the back. It's such a comfortable bralette and it comes in all different sizes which is a bonus! 

IDentity Lingerie black lace bralette

3) Run a bath & carry out my skincare routine

Having a bath for me at the end of the day is just so relaxing and it's just nice to get into bed clean and refreshed for the night ahead. My nighttime skincare routine is just as vital as my morning one. I need to cleanse the day off my skin and moisturise it before going to bed. 

4) Get into my pyjamas

Oh that feeling of slipping into new pyjamas is just the best feeling ever right?! These pink silk pyjamas from IDentity Lingerie are so pretty. The shade of pink is gorgeous and they're such a flattering fit! The material used to make their pyjamas and other items are environmentally friendly and are ethically handmade also. 

IDentity Lingerie pink silk pyjamas

5) Turn my phone off and unwind with a book

One thing I have definitely tried to do is turn my phone off as soon as I get into bed. There's that nagging feeling that you'll be afraid you'll miss something online before you go off to sleep. But, the way I think of it, I'll just find out in the morning during my morning scroll. Reading a book before going to sleep is such a satisfying way to relax. 

6) Lights off, time to hit the pillow

Well, not literally hit the pillow, but you know what I mean. Time to get some zzz's. 


That last hour or so before going to bed is crucial in me getting the most out of my nighttime routine. I really do think that having that nighttime routine really does help me get the best night's sleep! 


Do you have a nighttime routine? Is it similar to mine? Let me know!



*The items featured in this post are from IDentity Lingerie. The pink silk pyjamas, black bralette and black satin face mask were sent to me in exchange for a blog post. All nighttime routine reviews are my own. For more information, please read my disclaimer. Thank you for your support as always!

IDentity Lingerie black satin face mask


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