I was driving to the hospital the other day for an appointment, well, obviously I was, I wouldn't be going there counting all the doctors and nurses who work there would I?!
Anyway, it's such a trek first thing in the morning, what normally is a 45 minute drive turns into 90 minutes in Tuesday morning rush hour traffic. So as I'm driving, my mind starts to wonder onto other things after swearing at the driver for cutting me up on the roundabout about 43 seconds before.
I started thinking about my life (maybe not the most ideal subject to delve into) and all the trips I've been on, mainly the ones in my adult life. I haven't been abroad for over 10 years. Quite a depressing thought.
My immediate reactions when I think about going on a proper holiday are:
"It costs too much because of my illness"
"I can't afford a new passport"
"Travel insurance costs too much"
"I'll have to have a fit to fly test"
"What if I get ill abroad?"
Yes, I may sound pessimistic, but they're my natural instincts when I think about booking a trip abroad. I wrote a post back last year about some of the destinations I wish I could go to, all of them are idyllic locations for me and very Instagrammable too.
So as I'm sat in the car, driving past Cardiff City Stadium, I come to the realisation that subconsciously I have held myself back through my illness. I have used my illness as an excuse for not wanting to go away anywhere other than somewhere close to home. Why have I done that? Is it because of fear? Or that I'm so set in my comfort zone I daren't venture any further?
The answer to the last two questions is yes. Which has made me quite sad.
Ooh, I'm about to pull into the hospital car park. Before I park in a good parking spot near the main entrance, I don't want people commenting the same old thing "You shouldn't let it stop you" or "Just go for it, life is too short!"
I know that, I'm not an idiot! I'll venture away in my own way and more importantly, in my own time.
Right, ignition off, let's get this appointment over with...ooh, I'm a little early, maybe I got time for a quick Costa before I go to clinic?
But back to the subject at hand, maybe I have been guilty of instinctively stopping myself of dreaming about going on a wonderful holiday because I instantly panic about all the things that could happen if I was to fall ill. Hmm, it's certainly not a good mindset to put myself in.
I can't be the only one who feels this way, surely?
I'm hoping to fight back my fears and one day just bite the bullet and just go for it. Life is all about adventures and making life long memories. I have a few life long memories in this ever-growing mind of mine, but I maybe I'm entitled to more than just a few.
By the way, how cute are these quote cards from Treatbox?! They are bloody perfect for flatlay photos!
Lucy
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