My Personal Battle With My Weight & Body Image

I've not written a really personal post like this in a long time. But I think it's something I feel ready to talk about as I hope my words can help others. I don't think I've ever discussed the topic of weight on my blog before. I've talked about all aspects relating to CF and mental health, but not the topic of weight. 


So here goes...


Weight, I've always struggled with it. With having Cystic Fibrosis, weight has always been a hot topic with the dietitian at my clinic. All my life, weight gain has always been the key to staying well. As my pancreas doesn't produce sufficient enzymes to digest all the nutrients and fats in the foods I eat, I not only need to take tablets called Creon to help digest food but eat a high-calorie diet to help increase my weight. As a kid, this was never an issue. All the McDonald's and chip shop teas I could want! 

A woman sat on a bed

Even in my early twenties, this high-calorie diet was never a problem. But I don't know, these days it's becoming a real growing problem. People may read this and think "What have you got to moan about?! You get to eat all the good stuff all of the time!". Yeah, it does sound great on paper, but in reality, it's not fun for me anymore. 


Since starting Kaftrio, a miracle drug for the majority of people with CF, my weight has become a growing issue. I'm looking in the mirror and feeling very dissatisfied with how I look. I kind of feel hypocritical saying all this though. I'm all for championing women of all sizes and being proud of their bodies regardless. Why can't I do the same for myself? Over the last 2 years, I have gained a little confidence in posting photos on Instagram with my midriff on show or in my bra. But even then, there's about 70 odd takes on my Canon before I feel reasonably happy with THE perfect photo. 


Social media, I feel, has had a part to play in terms of how I look at myself. The whole weight and social media stigma can be very damaging to our wellbeing and have a psychological effect. It may not just be yourselves, but your friends, family or even your favourite content creator may feel this way about their weight and body image. Then you see those diet style profiles that are being promoted on our feeds. Those profiles promoting diet pills, fad diets etc really boil my piss. It completely sends out the wrong message to young people who feel pressured to looking a certain way.

A woman sat on bed with phone and glasses.

I know full well that losing weight or dieting could be detrimental to my health. But I can't shake off the feeling that the extra podge I've gained needs to go. I will talk things through with my CF team next time I see them and hopefully come up with a plan to appease both parties. One thing I will not do is go on one of those protein shake diets - they're a big fat no from me and I would never jeopardise my health by trying those. 


When I've told friends about how I feel I need to lose weight, they turn to me and say "You don't need to lose weight!". Why can't I believe them? Is it because I've brainwashed myself into believing that I do? I know that my friends mean well, don't get me wrong! 

A woman sat on bed holding a white mug.

I hope I can safely say that we have all experienced a time, however long, where we've gone through a period of hating our bodies due to weight gain, or even weight loss. Currently, this is what I'm going through right now. I'm not going to sit here and write that this is a phase and that it'll just pass. It's going to take work from myself to allow myself to love my body and be happy with how it looks. Being happy with my body is a process which will take time. It's time that I am more than happy to take so that I can love my body for what it is. I want to restart championing loving our bodies for how they look. Before I do that though, I need to learn to love my own first. 


If you can relate to anything I have written in this post, please let me know! You can also DM me on any of my social media channels if you need or want to talk in more depth privately. 


39 comments
  1. I have PCOS and put on a lot of weight in a short amount of time. It's a constant battle. Sometimes I love how I look and having curves and others I can't even stand to look in the mirror x

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    1. Aww babe I didn't realise, I hope you're doing ok at the moment! x

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  2. Lucy, I cannot imagine you’re strength for coming to a place where you felt ready and comfortable to share such a personal thing and I think you are so incredible to want to share this in the hopes we will talk about this more and be there for each other! I am with you on that feeling of being so grateful for your body and being appreciative that what your body is others would really love but feeling unable to accept it yourself with love at times. I have been there. I think it’s so wonderful and so powerful that you have been so honest and real in this post about it being a journey, that takes work, to come to accept you’re body and learn to love it. I think that’s really important and I don’t see that talked about a lot. I too see a lot of these very single-focused weight loss posts and pieces of content so I think it’s really great that you are bringing to light that real and mindful approach and process to accepting and loving our bodies which isn’t really talked about as much. You are very kind and very wonderful Lucy. You do so much good sharing and bringing to light such important things with your platform! Sending much love and a big hug. ❤️

    Ellie x | https://elliebowsandsparkles.blogspot.com

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    1. I really hope it does get people talking and be able to feel more comfortable in opening up Ellie. It does take a lot of work to accept your body and love your body for what it is. I hate the weight loss focused pages online, they do my head in!
      Thank you so much for your kind words Ellie, it means so much! x

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  3. I can definitely relate to this. Especially from a championing body confidence, but not always being so body confident perspective. After having Amelia my body seemed to 'snap back' (gahh I hate that phrase) pretty quickly. Second time around it's a different story. But I feel so conflicted, like obviously I love my body for what it's been able to do, growing, birthing and feeding the girls, but there's still that pang in the back of my mind. It's such a difficult one.

    Claire. X

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    1. I can imagine the love you have for your body for what you have done in your life (being pregnant, giving birth etc) and I love that! x

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  4. Body image is such a personal thing for everyone and whatever your size everyone has their issues! I always struggle to get my head around the fact that I think everyone else looks great apart from me!
    Amy x
    callmeamy.co.uk

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    1. Absolutely Amy, body image can be an issue for everyone, I feel you on the comparison thing, I always think everyone around me looks better than I do! x

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  5. I struggle with my body image so badly right now, but I'm working on it!

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    1. Body image and learning to love our bodies can be a struggle Amie x

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  6. Tjis can happen to anyone. You oook great dear
    https://www.melodyjacob.com/

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  7. I can really relate to this at the moment, especially in terms of social media because I don't feel comfortable how I am at the mo but feel like I can say this online because I feel the pressure to be body posi at any size. It's a total mindfield xx

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    1. I feel you and agree with you babe, it is a total minefield when it comes to social media, body image and body positivity xx

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  8. Thanks for sharing! I'm struggling with my weight and now it's a medical must for me for lose weight. I try not to think about it too much. I just get up eat healthy and force myself to go to the gym.
    https://www.comfycozyup.com

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    1. That's the best way to go about things - try not to think about it too much, I hope you're doing ok lovely x

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  9. This is such an open and honest blog post that you should be proud of. You are using your platform to help others feel less alone also! Self-love is a journey and definitely one I am on and trying to practise everyday. Thank you for sharing.

    Lauren - bournemouthgirl

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    1. Thank you Lauren, that means so much! I agree lovely, self-love is a journey and a rewarding one eventually!

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  10. Thank you for being so open with your personal experience. I am positive it will open doors for many to feel they are not alone, and perhaps share their stories as well. I wish you success and love on your journey!

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    1. I hope that this post definitely does make people feel like they're not alone!

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  11. I struggle with my weight all the time. It's so frustrating and I have to fight to keep myself in the right mindset. As we get older our baby changes so much. We gain a bit of weight and it sits different on us. That's what I found hardest - how my body just doesn't feel like mine anymore!

    Corinne x

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    1. It's so frustrating not being in the right mindset when it comes to weight and body image Corinne x

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  12. It can take such a long time to get used to our bodies. I've always been plus size but the journey to acceptance was a long old road to get there. Your worries are valid and I hope you find where you want to be

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    1. It's always a long journey to self-acceptance Alice x

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  13. Well done Lucy for writing such an incredible blog post. I definitely wish I could do this and maybe one day I will. I have struggled with weight since I was teenager, suffering with eating disorders on all levels but as I have now hit my 30's I have started to accept myself more. Don't get me wrong, everyday is a battle but I am getting there and reading blog posts like this makes me feel not alone :)

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    1. Thank you Victoria, that means so much!
      I'm so happy to hear that you have started to accept yourself more now lovely, just remember you're not alone and I'm always here if you need a chat x

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  14. I always enjoy reading about how one's body image affects their mood. I've been struggling with myself too. I know all there is to beating it is eating and exercising. Thank God you shared this post!

    Mecah

    Https://ritualandreviews.blogspot.com

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  15. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience, I'm sure it will help readers that can relate!

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  16. It is so brave to open up on your platform. I have had issues too and I know how hard it can be!

    Danielle | thereluctantblogger.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Danielle, it is so hard isn't it? x

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  17. I had such an issue with my body for years and years so I can fully relate. It was only after having a baby that I stopped caring what I looked like, to an extent. More that I just became okay with how I looked, I didn't love my body but I didn't hate it either, I just kind of accepted it. It really does feel so much better than spending my life calorie counting! Sending you love x

    Gemma Louise

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    1. That's good that you have reached a place where you don't hate your body as much anymore. Calorie counting can be mentally draining can't it?! x

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  18. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and while I can try my best to get it in my mind that I can do something about it, I always lack the will. Our minds are our worst enemies, so I read this post feeling a little less lonely.

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    1. I totally agree Simona, our minds can sometimes be our worst enemy! x

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  19. I definitely think we have all struggled with weight and body image. It's great that you're able to talk so open and honestly about how you are feeling. It took me a long time to come to terms with how I look and even now, I still get days when I dont like what I see.

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    1. Those days of not liking what you see in the mirror aren't nice, it just makes you feel worthless x

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  20. You're so brave and I admire that. I've been struggling with my weight for a while now. I have a hard time gaining weight but I am healthy. I always hear comments being made towards me and it can truly bring you down. I weigh a lot more than I look but it's sad to have judgmental people in the world. Love your body, you're beautiful the way you are.

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