How To Support Someone Like Myself With A Chronic Illness

Let's put it out there, having a chronic illness/disability is no easy feat. When considering how a chronic illness can affect someone's everyday life, many factors must be considered. A chronic illness and disability not only affects that person physically, but it also affects their mental well-being, socialising, work opportunities and even relationships. Supporting someone like myself with a chronic illness may not be easy for the other person. I think there's that fear of upsetting them or saying the wrong thing. Here, I'll explain some ways to support someone like myself with a chronic illness.

For those who don't already know, I have Cystic Fibrosis - a genetic lung disease which I was born with. The gene in my DNA affected by CF controls the movement of salt and water in and out of cells. Because of this, people with CF experience a build-up of thick, sticky and somewhat disgusting mucus in the lungs, digestive system and sinuses. It can also affect other organs in the body, leading to obstacles to overcome. So, as you can imagine, I need all the support I can get! Not just from medications and treatments, but emotional support and strength from family and friends. 

As I spoke about earlier, supporting someone with a chronic illness may seem hard to some, but it doesn't need to be. It's just about being supportive, empathetic and most importantly, positive. All of those things put together, you can't go wrong!

Here are some ways to support someone with a chronic illness:

1) Be a good listener

Sometimes, someone with a chronic illness needs to vent. We could vent about having to have more blood tests, receiving bad news about our condition or moaning about the parking at the hospital. It may seem trivial or insignificant to you, but it's a big deal to us.  A listening ear is what we need sometimes. I know it makes me feel better to have a rant and a rave when CF decides to be a naughty so-and-so. 

2) Learn about the illness

Unless you're a healthcare professional, it's understandable that you won't know the ins and outs of someone's chronic illness. Over the years, I've tried to educate people about CF as much as possible, especially through my blog and social media channels. As they say, it's better coming from the horse's mouth. If you're too afraid to ask someone more about their illness, then do your research. Look at the specific illness's charity website as they can offer stories from people living with it. 

I want people to ask me questions. However, I can understand those who fear putting their foot in it. But I would rather people ask me the right questions than make the wrong assumptions. 

P.S. - don't rely on hospital dramas to know about an illness. Purely because 1) it's overdramatised to keep viewers entertained and 2) more often than not, they depict it wrong.

3) Offer practical help 

Whilst listening and learning about someone's illness is good, offering practical help is a good way to support someone. Obviously, we all have a lot going on in our lives, but lending that helping hand can mean everything to someone with a chronic illness. A simple act of accompanying them to GP/hospital appointments, picking up prescriptions on their behalf or helping with household chores if they're struggling. 

However, as much as it's great to help someone, don't be too pushy in the amount of help you're offering. You don't want to come across as overbearing, allow that person to have some sort of independence. Just assure the person with the chronic illness that they can call on you if they need you.

4) Don't engage in toxic positivity

There's nothing worse than someone saying to you "Well, it could be worse" when you get bad results from a medical appointment. It's an easy mistake to make. It's like you're trying to summarise things through an optimistic lens, but that doesn't help me. Another one I hate is "Look on the bright side!" no I won't thank you, Sandra. 

Instead of saying phrases like that, try "I can't imagine how this feels, but I'm here for you" or "I want to support you" or "I'm listening". 

These are some of the ways to support someone like myself with a chronic illness.

I know it's difficult knowing the right things to say to someone with a chronic illness, especially when they have a flare-up or they're unwell. But as long as you listen, support and generate positivity to that person, there's no reason to worry. I know that laughter and positivity help me through the toughest of times. 

I'd love to know your thoughts on this topic!