My Top Five Very Important Values In Life

Values reflect our hearts' deepest desires. They are what we aspire to be and what we stand for. Having values guides us and motivates us to what we think, do and say. I have always known my values, but I know that my values aren't like everybody else's. 

Values are different from goals. They are not something we achieve, but they send us in a direction we individually work towards. I've always felt that my values reflect on my life and my past experiences - both good and bad. Not only that, but our values are ones that we were brought up on by our parents/guardians. When it comes to values, there is no right or wrong, it's simply what matters to us the most.

Now, the values I'm going to list here may not be ones you practice in your life, but these are the ones that I deem the most important to me.

How did I know which values mean the most to me? 

A while ago, when I was having sessions with a psychologist to cope with my anxiety, she asked me to do an exercise over Zoom on this website to see where my values align and split different values into three categories -

Very Important

Important 

No Important

The objective of this exercise was to see what values were important to me today, away from my anxiety. Honestly, picking my top 5 most important values was easier said than done. Out of 37 values, I had to narrow them down to five values which I consider to be "very important". This took me a good 15-20 minutes as the majority of these 37 values I consider to be vital in my life. 

However, after a lot of swapping and shifting, I finally narrowed my top 5 "very important" values to these (in no particular order) -

1) Loving - showing love, affection or great care to myself and others

I'm all for showing love not to others, but myself. There are some incredible, beautiful and inspirational people in my life - I want to show them all the love and care they've given me. Through all the difficult, exciting and mad times, they've shown me love, patience and encouragement. I only want to give them that back. Also in regards to showing love for myself, I deserve to, given that I've been fighting a lung disease since I was a foetus. My body, mind and soul deserve a little loving and TLC!

2) Friendly - warm, open, caring and agreeable towards others

It's better to be nice than not be nice at all. What is the point of being unfriendly to someone? It doesn't make you a better person and I'd rather be friendly to someone than be a b*tch. Being friendly is something as simple as saying good morning to someone as they walk past you. Not being afraid to start up conversations with others. Saying hello to a new work colleague and making them feel at ease. It doesn't hurt to be friendly towards others.

3) Kind - being considerate, helpful or caring to myself and others

I love kindness. Sprinkle that sh*t everywhere. Being kind doesn't need to cost the Earth. There are SO many acts of kindness you can do for not just others, but yourself too. Being kind to yourself is important for your mental health and well-being. If you're wondering how to be kind to yourself, it could be something as simple as doing an act of self-care, showing gratitude or recognising yourself when you achieve a personal goal.  

4) Mindful/Present - fully present and engaging in whatever I'm doing

This is a value that has become very important for me in my life. Being mindful and present is something I want to introduce into my everyday life. I don't want to dwell on the past or think too much about my future. I want to be present and mindful in this current moment. For me, thinking about the past and thinking about the future has an effect on my mental health. Thinking about bad mistakes doesn't do me any favours, I need to deflect myself away from that as it starts my overthinking. It's kind of the same when I think about my future. I start overthinking about what the future may hold for myself and others and that affects my mental health also. I want to be more mindful and present with today. 

5) Independent - choosing for myself what I do and how I live

I love being independent. Being independent gives me such a confidence boost. It's good for my self-esteem. I'm someone who does take advice on board, but I'm also someone who likes to go against advice sometimes if it's not right for me. Being independent, for me, means making decisions about what I want to do and how I choose to live. This value has been a priority of mine for years, I feel if I don't have independence, I have nothing. 

So these are my top five very important values in my life!

As I said before, everybody's values are different from one another. Some of my values you may not agree with, and that's fine! I'd love for you to try sorting out your values into those categories by tapping/clicking the link above. It'll be interesting to see which values you deem to be essential in your life. 

Let me know your thoughts!