What I didn't do though however was something I've always encouraged people to do when they have a bad spell with their mental health -
Ask for help.
I've always considered myself to be strong emotionally, I felt I had no choice as I have had quite a few obstacles to get past in my life and I felt like I have had to toughen up because of it. Years ago, I would never have ever considered seeking help for anything to do with my mental health. I knew that there was help out there for me. Whether that was to speak to a close and trusted friend or family member or speak professionally to the psychologist at my CF clinic, it was there at my fingertips. What I'm going to say next may sound a little outdated but - at the time I thought it was a sign of weakness to ask for help.
Years ago, when I started having bad mental health, I couldn't open up about it and I felt that there was a stigma attached to being so open about my feelings and my overall mental health status. Nowadays, I am very open about my mental health, I want to allow people to see that it is ok to open up about their mental health and, in a way, inspire them to do so. However, I am careful in regards to how much I do share online and with others away from the online world personally.
I'm open about my mental health enough to know when I need to ask for help. I know I said before that I haven't asked for much help with my mental health recently, but there is a reason behind it, however strange it may seem to you. It felt wrong for me to ask for help. With everything that is going on in the world, people have died from a deadly virus, people have had to put their lives on the line to keep us safe, people have had to bury loved ones and people have lost jobs, I could go on and on! It felt like an inappropriate action on my part to go to a psychologist or talk to a trusted friend to talk about how low I had been feeling considering everything that is going on in the world. But after speaking to a close friend about my mental health status, she made me realise that I needed to ask for help and speak to someone.
This blog post is aimed for me to tell you that it is ok to ask for help with your mental health. I want to make it my mission to get this message across to you. Even be one of those people who hires a plane with a banner tied to it to fly through the sky. Maybe if I win the Lottery. But seriously, I want to tell you that it is perfectly ok to ask for help, I want you to know that it is not shameful or embarrassing in any way to ask for help, whoever that may be from and no matter the circumstances.
I can only hope that one day, the stigma for mental health can disappear altogether in the future, but it's up to us to promote speaking out and promote asking for help when needed. After all, there's only so much we can take with our mental health, it's important to unload all that we are feeling and get that pesky weight lifted off our shoulders when needed!
Truly it is OK to ask for help when your mental health is suffering - I think there are often barriers in the way when things such as self-esteem or fear of being judged get in the way. However as you've mentioned in your post you sometimes just need to open up and you're going to feel the benefits after. Really key point so thanks for raising it!
ReplyDeleteIt really is Thomas, there's nothing wrong asking for help with your mental health!
DeleteI hate that there are still barriers in opening up about our mental health, it's a stigma I wish would disappear!
Definitely agree with you! Nothing wrong with asking for help, especially when it can make a huge difference x
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely lovely, it can make a huge difference asking for help! x
DeleteAsking for help is so important, but can also be hard.
ReplyDeleteIt can definitely be hard opening up Amie x
DeleteI have definitely felt low at times and I don’t really tend to talk about it because I always feel like someone else will be going through something worse but I’m learning that everyone has their own things and it’s ok! X
ReplyDeleteYou bring up such a good point Aaliyah, it's hard to bring up things if you don't know how the other person is or what problems they may have! x
DeleteThis post is so important! It's good to talk and open up, and I'm so grateful now that there is more of an open space for people to do that without feeling judged. Years ago, I felt so much shame discussing my anxiety and depression but over time, it has gotten easier x
ReplyDeleteI agree lovely, it's good that people feel more confident enough to be more open about their mental health, I just hope we can end the stigma of people being able to open up to others! x
DeleteI hope that the stigma is completely gone one day too. Its great that you're able to write this so open and honestly. It took me years to be able to open up to people about how I was feeling. I've learnt that you have to be selective about who you open up to though, because not everyone is listening for the right reasons sadly.
ReplyDeleteI really hope so Kelly, I really hope so! I agree lovely, I think there's only a select amount of people you can really be open to!
DeleteThis is a great post to share and let others know it is okay not be okay. Mental health is so important. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLauren - www.bournemouthgirl.com
That's what I wanted to get across in this post Lauren, that it's ok not to be ok sometimes! x
DeleteI'm really glad that your friend convinced you to get the help you needed. I've always been someone who avoids talking about that kind of thing too, not for fear or judgement or shame, I'm just not that open with my emotions in general. I tend to find things easier to talk about in retrospect after I've already somewhat processed them in my own head but I know that attitude isn't necessarily the healthiest x
ReplyDeleteSophie
www.glowsteady.co.uk
I'm so glad that she did too Sophie!
DeleteIf that way of coping works for you lovely, then don't try to fix something that isn't broken! x
Asking for help is so important but also so difficult, especially if it's the first time opening up about struggling so posts like these are so important to help people realise it's ok to ask!
ReplyDeleteAmy x
callmeamy.co.uk
It can be difficult lovely, especially if you feel you have no one to turn to. I do hope that this post can help people realise that it's ok not to be ok x
DeleteGreat post! Especially, about how people need to keep discussing mental health and stop with the stigma behind it. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.bauchlefashion.com/2021/10/paris-fashion-week-saint-laurent-fw22.html
Thank you Heather, it's so important to end the stigma with asking for help with mental health x
DeleteAsking for help it's so so important, however I think it can also be a really difficult thing to do. Thank you for sharing and opening up more conversation about mental health. It's the only way to break the stigma.
ReplyDeleteClaire.X
You're right Claire, it's good to ask for help, but sometimes it can be hard if you have nobody you can really turn to x
DeleteI've only suffered with mental health issues once in my life but the hardest thing for me was accepting that I needed to ask for help. It feels like a weakness, but it's actually quite the reverse, it's an acknowledgement that you can't do it all by yourself. Great post, Lucy, really powerful x
ReplyDeleteAcceptance is the biggest hurdle to overcome before asking for help. It's not a weakness at all lovely, in fact, I think it takes utter strength to ask for help when you need to x
DeleteYes it is so important to ask for help when you need it. Thanks for sharing this awesome post
ReplyDeleteIt really is Charity!
DeleteThis is such an important post! No one should ever feel like a burden when asking for help. I know first hand the detrimental affect it has on a person and it’s awful. Thank you so much for sharing this post Lucy! It’s really good Xo
ReplyDeleteElle - ellegracedeveson.com
I still struggle to open up sometimes but it's something that I am working on everyday. I battled a lot as a teenager and in my early 20's thorough many eating issues but you are so right, talking really does help and it's always ok to ask for help xx thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteWell said, Lucy.
ReplyDeleteIf you need help you should ask for it. You wouldn't break your leg and think 'No, I'm not going to ask for help. What will people think?' - trust me, I speak from experience! So why shouldn't you ask for help with your mental health in the same way?
I just think it's hard for some to ask for help, it does take a lot of strength and bravery to do that!
Deletealthough there's still quite a way to go, i feel that the negative connotations of mental health have decreased quite a lot in recent years due to so many who have had the courage and kindness to share their own struggles!! remembering that we are all human and all go through difficult, darker moments can be so helpful in reminding ourselves to share the load with others sometime x
ReplyDeletebrineandbooks.com
Yeah I think so too lovely, let's hope it decreases even further! x
DeleteFor some reason, a lot of people find it difficult to ask for help. There's absolutely nothing wrong in asking for help. What's important is talking to the right person as talking to the wrong person would only make you feel worse. A problem shared is half solved.
ReplyDeleteI think it's just that admitting of knowing you need help before actually asking for it, I agree though, a problem shared is a problem halved!
DeleteI've struggled with my mental health a lot this year and even though I'm quite open emotionally as a person I do struggle to ask for help and asking for help with my mental health has really been tough.
ReplyDeleteAsking for help is a huge step for anyone Lauren, it takes real courage to do that x
DeleteIt would be great if the stigma went.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely would!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so tough to ask for help. I know that you definitely should, but I struggle a lot with asking for help. I always think someone has it worse - that's a terrible mindset and you are right that we should just ask away! xx
ReplyDeleteI agree lovely, it can be tough to ask for help, it takes real bravery and courage to do that xx
DeleteMental health is just as essential as physical health. It is important to normalize the conversation about mental health so that it empowers people to talk and get help if needed. Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lovely
www.mynameislovely.com
It really is! I agree, it's important to normalise the conversation of mental health and be able to talk about it so openly (if comfortable enough to) x
Delete100 % agree with this post Lucy! I think that it's a mix of stigma and always thinking that someone has it worse than you taht have stopped me in the past to ask for help. But as you said, it's okay to do it because everyone's mental health matters z
ReplyDeleteAs you said, I worry about asking for help as I always think that there's others out there who have it worse than me x
DeleteIt can be so hard to ask for help, I only find it easier now because I now know what to look for in myself after having post natal depression and PTSD. Really great post! X
ReplyDeleteI agree Alice, it can be so hard to ask for help with mental health. I'm glad that you know what signs to look out for in regards to your mental health lovely x
DeleteIt is so important to ask for help. Sometimes just doing that is the biggest step.
ReplyDeleteAmy x
The July Rose