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11 September 2019

Am I Falling Behind Everyone Else?

*Scrolls through Facebook*



Someone else is engaged, let’s comment congratulations, tell them you wish them nothing but happiness and move on.



*Scrolls even further through Facebook*



Someone is having a baby, let’s comment congratulations, tell them to start buying Huggies/Pampers and move on.


Photography - Ellie Blakeney
Am I Falling Behind Everyone Else?


Facebook is rather depressing if you are not that far ahead in life. The constant scrolling and seeing friends add life events on a weekly/monthly basis is rather depressing for those that aren't that far ahead in life. This got me thinking, am I falling behind everyone else, even my closest friends?



At this current moment in time, I genuinely feel like I'm playing the catch up game with my friends as well as everybody else I follow on social media. How have I become someone who has started playing this game of cat and mouse?



Let me give you an example of this. The other day, I went to see one of my closest friends at her new house. My first thoughts were 1) Her house is totally Insta worthy, 2) I want to move into my own house and 3) How far have I fallen behind my friends in life?


Am I Falling Behind Everyone Else?


Four of my friends have kids, two have just bought their own houses, one has moved in and got engaged with her boyfriend, and what's the biggest life update I can give them? My new kitten Nessa can play fetch like a dog. Not exactly a big life event is it? Still humorous all the same.



My current life situation? Still living with my mother, I financially can’t afford to move out, I have no boyfriend for support, I barely have any family and I have a chronic illness which can be a bitch when it wants to.


Am I Falling Behind Everyone Else?

Crikey, my situation is more depressing than I thought. Where's the vodka?



It’s not that I don’t want these things, because I do, but I really think that I’m one of nature’s behinder’s. I'm taking things in slow motion I suppose, I know it’ll all change for me one day, it’s a matter of when, not if. At the end of the day, it's all up to me to go after what I want. However, I swear that in a past life I was a nun, a very religious nun. Stuck in a convent in France.



I think this will be my aim for the rest of 2019 going into 2020 - push myself to do more and be more than just a girl who lives with a cat. A cat who plays fetch like a dog, did I mention that already?



People say you can't just sit back and wait for everything to come to you. You've got to get out there, show off your sass and grab the things you want in your life. Sitting back in your armchair with a glass of wine watching The Chase doesn't get you nowhere.


Am I Falling Behind Everyone Else?



I hope that this time next year that I'll be in a completely different phase in my life, that's the supposed plan anyway. You can't really plan too much for the future as, in all honestly, we don't know what the future is going to bring. Life can suddenly send you across a different path to the one you decided to walk on. Maybe life was meant to be this way for me, who knows. If only I had a crystal ball...



I've never stuck to or created a life plan. They say you should have a 5 year plan. If I did have one before, I certainly screwed up on it. I mean, I don't know where I'm going to be in the next five days let alone the next five years.



Have you ever felt this way in your life?




Lucy




*Photographs were taken in Brighton by the amazing Ellie Blakeney

30 comments:

  1. Couldn't relate to a blog post anymore. I'm very nearly 23 and I still live at home with my dad. Of course we all have our own happiness, like you with your cat. But when you see people you went to school with, or those close to you, moving in with boyfriends, getting married and having kids, you can't help but naturally evaluate yourself and what you have on offer. I'm more than sure it'll all happen when it is meant too, and there is no point stressing over it. Wish those experiencing it happiness and move on. Next year will be your year girl!!
    Amber | www.amberatlanta.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I'm so glad you could relate to this post Amber! I'm sure next year will be your year too girl!

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  2. I feel like this and I panic when I look at others and think god I should have done this by now or have this. I try and let go of those things and just live what is happening for me right now. Good luck with the next year of your life! I am sure great things will come to you. Your blog is so lovely by the way xx

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    1. Thank you Lauren, that means so much! You're absolutely right, it's just best to go with the flow! xx

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  3. I'm 22 and engaged, have lived with my partner for 2 years now in a rented flat but I still feel like I'm falling behind. I'm in my second year at uni when most of the people I went to school with are graduating and beginning their careers! Everyone always feels like they are falling behind someone else but you have to remember Facebook is a highlight reel! It's always healthy to push yourself a wee bit but keep in mind social media is highlight reels x

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    1. That's a good point about Facebook Evie, it is like a highlight reel! x

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  4. I can totally relate to this. Although none of my closest friends are in serious relationships. One has a baby but she (as cute as she is) was a total accident and most still live at home. So in the grand scheme of things, I'm not falling behind my peers, just the idea in my head of where I think I should be. I think it's normal that we all feel like this if we don't have absolutely everything locked down by a certain age and social media definitely doesn't help that. We all do things in our own time x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. Social media doesn't really help at all Sophie! You're right though, things just take time or we do it in our own time x

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  5. I can relate with this post so much! I live on my own but I don't particularly have an amazing job, I don't have a partner and I definitely couldn't afford a holiday or anything like that right bow! Social media can be a thief of joy with comparison x

    Kayleigh Zara 🌟 http://www.kayleighzaraa.com

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    1. Social media definitely plays its part in the comparison game! x

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  6. I feel this way every day of my life! But at least you have a cat that plays fetch with you! That's more than I have ;) But I think everyone is on their on path in life and everyone travels at a different speed. I still live at home, don't have a boyfriend, am struggling with my mental health and everyone around me is getting married, having babies, buying houses, traveling to exotic places and just living life. But I know I'm moving at my own pace and I'll get where I need to go someday. And I think you will too! You're just on a different path, and I think wherever you end up is going to be a great place to be and perfect for you. :)

    PS. Does your cat really play fetch??? Screw everyone with their houses and kids. I want a cat that plays fetch like a dog!!

    Emily | https://www.thatweirdgirllife.com

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    1. Moving at your own pace is such a good way to go about life!
      Yeah honestly! She really does play fetch like a dog! She is also the only cat I have ever had who likes water and doesn't mind getting wet!

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  7. Such an honest post and I think a lot of people will relate. I've felt this way on more than one occasion! I personally find 5 year plans aren't for me as if I don't get anywhere I end up feeling worse about myself! 😂 While I'm married, a lot of my friends now have kids and own their houses as well, while some have great careers on top of it all - which is still a long way off for me. I think the worst thing is the pressure - I can't go to any family dinner without "have you found a house yet?" "not thinking of having kids yet then?" Go away. It's literally none of your business. It's so important to go at your own pace in life and not compare yourself - of course it's easier said than done! Also I love how your cat plays fetch 😍 xx

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    1. Aww I hate it when people ask me those questions! That's just so intrusive and rude! Yeah she loves playing fetch! xx

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  8. Oh honey, I feel this way ALL the time! I'm 27 and still live at home with my parents. I can't afford to move out because my anxiety was so bad for so long, I didn't have a job that paid a wage I could live off of. I feel like I'm falling behind massively. Everyone on my Facebook is either getting married, having babies etc and I'm still so far from that! But it's so important to not compare!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! It's so easy to fall into the comparison trap! x

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  9. Oh I've definitely felt the same! I've just graduate from university and the search for a grad job is a stressful one to say the least. I find myself comparing my situation to others who have locked down and started their graduate jobs. But I know I'll find one eventually - hopefully it's worth the wait! x

    https://www.femaleoriginal.com

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    1. I'm sure you'll find your dream job Faye! I got everything crossed for you! x

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  10. I totally understand this post! This is why I don’t actually have Facebook. I always feel like I’m slightly behind everyone but then I also have friends that say they think they are slightly behind me. I think it’s that we’re at a weird age now our 20’s when everyone is always in different stages of their lives! We will all get there though xx

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    1. I rarely look on Facebook anymore, it's too depressing! You're right though Aaliyah, we'll all get there eventually! xx

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  11. Such an honest post, and so relatable! Love your style of writing, and I rarely ever use facebook, I think it's a bit much sometimes x

    www.jareddavies.co.uk

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    1. Ah thank you Jared! Facebook can be a bit much sometimes yes x

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  12. I totally related to that last sentence! Even though I am only 18 I worry that I'm falling behind, and social media definitely does not help these feelings. Just got to remember that flowers don't always grow at the same pace! :) x

    - Charlotte / myownblogofthoughts.blogspot.com

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    1. Social media doesn't help at all! I love that last sentence in your comment lovely! x

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  13. I relate to this post 10000000%! I feel like I'm falling behind as I haven't hit those big milestones yet: learning to drive, buying my own place, getting engaged etc. Hell I haven't even got a boyfriend yet and haven't had one for 7 years pretty much. I know the feeling hun.

    Shannon x
    www.shanylou.co.uk
    instagram.com/shanyloublog

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    1. I'm glad I don't feel the same way Shannon x

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  14. I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same, I'm 26 still living at home and no sign of marriage or babies yet. A lot of my friends are getting married and having kids etc so I know sometimes it can be easy to think you should be doing the same. I come to realise though that everyone's timeline isnt the same, just looking at the comments, not everyone is where they think they 'should be' some people get married at 20 and divorce at 25, some have 1 kid at 23 and some have 5 in their 30's, some meet the love of their life at 45 and spend the rest of ther years in married bliss. I try not to live my life to the 'ideal' timeline because I dont want to force things or settle just because I think I should. We should just go out there, live our best lives and do what feels right for us xxx Sinead Kathryn

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    1. You’re absolutely right Sinead, we all have our own timeline and we shouldn’t force ourselves to do anything just because we feel that we’re falling behind! xxx

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  15. Brilliantly written. I find that my friends and I are in various stages of our lives, and it is hard sometimes. Something I'm struggling with at the moment is that my friends have wonderful and permanent jobs, while the industry I work in means I'm hopping from contract to contract and I have no stability. I am sure you will smash your goals, and your cat sounds pretty awesome! xx


    Jessie | jessie-ann.co.uk

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    1. Ah thank you Jessie!
      It must be hard going from contract to contract in your job lovely, that was what my last job used to be like.
      Aww Jessie my cat is a little bugger! She’s so funny and loving though! xx

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