7 Things That We Don't Need To Apologise For

I will put my hands up and admit that, in the past, I have apologised for something when not needing to. Years ago, it became an occupational habit for me to just say sorry to keep the peace. Nowadays, after years of practice, I have learned to not apologise for something when I'm not in the wrong. 


Obviously, I will apologise when I realise or know that I'm in the wrong. It's the decent thing to do. Like if I bump into somebody while walking past them. If I get a customer's order wrong at work. If I reply to an email a few days later than I would've liked. These are examples of reasons why I and you should apologise. 

A woman sat down with a bunch of artificial flowers


However, more annoyingly, I sometimes end up apologising for being me - and that's not right. 


I, and the rest of us, should never have to apologise for being ourselves. For example, I used to apologise to the interviewer at a job interview for feeling nervous. Umm...why should I have done?! It's natural to feel nervous at a job interview, no matter how confident you are. So should I apologise and justify my nervousness to a job interviewer. 


As I said, it's a hard habit to practice, but here are thee things we all need to stop apologising for -

1) Our appearance

I apologise far too often for my appearance. For not wearing makeup, for looking a mess after finishing work, for not having my best clothes on, for my hair looking a state. You name it, I've apologised for something relating to my appearance. If I choose to venture out to Morrison's without wearing makeup, why should I apologise?! Ok, I'm not saying that I say sorry to all the shoppers I pass in the fruit and veg aisle for my look, but you know. I'm all for the natural look anyway, so it's best for me to embrace it than apologise for it. I will not apologise for my appearance, that's not happening. 

A woman sat on a white chest of drawers

2) Our personalities

Now, I am a woman who can be incredibly blunt about things. My brain has the tendency to turn on no-filter mode when it feels like it. I know when I need to keep my mouth shut, but sometimes, I'll just say the first thing that comes into my mind. I won't apologise for that. That's my personality. That's who I am. However, I can be very sweet and kind, I promise! My way of thinking of it is that if we all had the same personality, the world would be a rather boring place. So be you boo!

3) For saying no

There comes a time or another when we have to say no, for our own good. I do hate saying no, I feel so guilty when I do. But we have to remember that we can't do everything. Sometimes saying no is a must. We all have different priorities and sometimes we need to focus on them. I'm all for saying yes when I can, but sometimes saying no is well-needed. As much as it's hard not to feel guilt afterwards, don't be sorry. 

4) How we feel

A lesson we should all learn - our feelings are valid. We're all going through different situations in our lives. Just because somebody doesn't understand what you're going through, it doesn't make your feelings any less valid. I'm quite an emotional person at times. For example, I cry when an animal dies in a film, I cry at the Repair Shop. I'll always cry every time I watch the last 30 minutes of ET. I even cried (happy tears) when Liverpool won the Premier League two years ago. But I think that was my antibiotics playing hell with my hormones. Anyway, please don't apologise for how you feel, you're not being oversensitive. Your feelings are worthy. Remember that.

A woman sat with a bunch of artificial flowers.

5) Needing 'me' time

In need of some self-care? As long as you have the time, do it. Don't apologise for taking some 'me' time for yourself. We all need a little self-pampering once in a while. It's natural. Sometimes it's good to just breathe and focus on yourself for a little while and not others. 

6) Asking questions

I won't lie, I still do this. If I want to know something I don't know the answer to, I apologise before asking the question. Why do we do that?! If you need clarification or reassurance on something, don't apologise for that. It's better for you to know than to not know. I'm sure astronauts have asked questions before being launched into space, so why shouldn't you?! 

7) Not texting back straight away

If you're busy and someone texts you, don't fret about replying ASAP. Dedicate a time of day to replying to texts/messages/tweets/DM's, then you can give your full attention. 

These are the things that I think we don't need to apologise for.


Do you agree with not apologising for these reasons? Let me know!
48 comments
  1. Wonderful post. I agree with all of these, and especially for saying “no.” Thanks for sharing!

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  2. I love saying no! I used to say yes to everything that when I say no, it makes me feel s powerful like I'm in control. I used to say yes just to keep people happy!

    Corinne x
    https://skinnedcartree.com

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    1. I agree with you Corinne, you can feel so powerful saying no! It's never good to say yes to keep people happy, that's something I used to do! x

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  3. Definitely yes to all this, the guilt feeling is so real though. x

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  4. Yes to all of these, Lucy, I think too many of us often feel the need to apologise when in reality there is no need x

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    1. Exactly Lisa, people need to know that you don't need to apologise when there isn't any need x

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  5. The act of apologising has been drilled into us from childhood. Unfortunately, it can take years to undo it. The good news is, like you've noted, we recognise it's ok to be who we are. And not all of it deserves an apology.
    Like someone said the other day, 'No is a complete answer'.

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    1. That is a good point, we get brought up to say sorry when we do something wrong, but we don't get taught to not apologise when it's not needed to as we turn into adults

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  6. I need to work on all of these - one thing I got from leaving here in the UK for 12 years now is the constant need to say sorry to everything and everyone, when in reality I shouldn't be.

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    1. I think we do get into that habit of saying sorry constantly for no reason that it's hard to get out of! x

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  7. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I apologise for basically all of these things too and I don't know why it's our default mode to be apologetic for something as simple as being seen in a t-shirt that has a little splash of coffee on it or slightly greasy hair. I'm also really blunt at times and find myself apologising for that too. It's a tough habit to break but definitely needed! x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. I'm incredibly blunt too and sometimes I have to apologise cause I worry I have offended the other person, but sometimes it's just the way I speak! x

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  8. Such a great post! I'm so guilty of apologising too much for things I don't really need to!
    Amy x
    callmeamy.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Amy, I think we're all guilty of it at times! x

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  9. I could not agree more! Thank you for sharing this post. It is so important for people to realise when to apologise and when there is no need for it. Especially in the terms you've mentioned above. It's a good eye-opening piece.

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    1. Exactly, it's important to learn when to apologise and when not to apologise!

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  10. I couldnt agree with you on this anymore if I tried, I am also useless at replying to message lol x

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  11. Yup. I agree with this and believe we all need to start setting boundaries on what is and isn't OK to apologise for. 😊

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    1. We definitely need to set boundaries for what we need and don't need to apologise for!

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  12. Totally agree with all of these. So many people feel they need to apologise all the time and mostly they probably don't. Except being late. Do apologise for that.

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    1. Oh you always need to apologise for being late Emma!

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  13. Oooh I loved reading this one. I felt myself nodding along with everything! I've been guilty of a lot of these jn the past too. I find it infuriating when people apologise for the way they look. Like really, who actually cares. Great post Hun. Loved it. X

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    1. I hate it when people apologise for the way they look too, it's so frustrating as there is just no need for it! x

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  14. Absolutely sweetie. I couldn't agree with them more!

    Danielle | thereluctantblogger.co.uk

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  15. Great post. I am learning to be better at not needing to apologise from my appearance and saying no. These are my two things that annoy me. Thank you for sharing this post.

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    1. It's good that you're learning to not apologise for your appearance and saying no x

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  16. This is a great post Lucy, I definitely am one to apologise about how I look all the time... Thank you for sharing that with us x
    Em - earthlyem.co.uk

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  17. Well said and so true, we should all remember this and give yourselves a break.

    Allie of
    www.allienyc.com

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  18. Replying straight away is a big one, I always do this!

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    1. I sometimes forget to reply and I feel bad then! But we got to remember that we all have busy lives and it's ok to not reply to messages straight away!

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  19. This is so powerful. A very important topic that needs more attention. So many of us feel the need to apologize for being ourselves. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more.

    Kelly | https://eagerbooks.com

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    1. Absolutely Kelly, there's definitely no need to apologise for being ourselves!

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  20. Yesssss!!! And I think I need to remember these now more than ever before as I step back into full time work. Wonderful article!

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    1. Make sure you remember these things then when you step back into full-time work!

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  21. Yes to all of these! I think that we say sorry far too much for things out of our control! Like as you said, why saying sorry for asking questions or just being nervous at an interview!

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    1. Exactly Cristina! I wish I wasn't so apologetic at interviews, but I've learnt my lessons!

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  22. I'm terrible for this! My main one lately has been apologising if my babys been too loud or cries like he's doing it on purpose. I really need to learn to just own that its out of my control

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    1. Aww Alice, I'm sure a lot of mother's can relate to that! It never bothers me when I hear a baby cry, like you say, it's out of your control!

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  23. I love this post! If we don't know something, why do we feel the need to apologise?! I think everyone apologises for these things, but we need to get better at owning our actions. Great post xx

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    1. Exactly Eleanor, why should we apologise for not knowing something?! xx

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  24. I'm the worst culprit when it comes to apologising for saying no. I'm definitely guilty of some of the others you've mentioned too.

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    1. It's so easy to apologise for saying no, it's like second nature for a lot of us!

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