What The Shielding Life Has Taught Me

*Disclaimer - be prepared to see the word 'shielding' a hella of a lot in this post



Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you, shielding stinks. I've been shielding and in lockdown for such a long time now that I can feel myself going a bit crazy. I think people have spent less time in prison than I and so many others have shielding. I've found myself doing the most weirdest of jobs from readjusting all the bra straps that felt loose on my shoulders to organising the cat food boxes. Yep, I'm officially going barmy.



This shielding was never what I expected. It's been a hell of a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Maybe that's because I never thought I would spend 95% of my days indoors for such a long time. Maybe I had high hopes that the pandemic would be nearing it's end by now. But nope, me and so many others are stuck with this lifestyle for the foreseeable.





I know that the (Welsh) Government are thinking of our safety and I really respect that. I just don't think that they took mental health into consideration when it came to announcing to thousands of us had to keep to this shielding life until August 16th. That's just in Wales however, it's different for people who live in England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.



At first, I thought being at home would be quite fun. I thought of all the little jobs that I could get done around the house, those declutters that were in desperate need of being done, those weeds that needed pulling up in the garden and all those times I will be sitting down in front of the TV watching This Morning. But after a while, all the odd jobs that needed to be done have been done to the highest standard. This Morning is still being watched however - if I get up in time.



Shielding life has taught me a few things. Gratitude. I'm more grateful about a lot of things now eg family, friends, neighbours, the outside world and something as simple as a drive in my car. I'm incredibly grateful for all those things now. Not that I wasn't before, but I feel more of a sense of real gratitude towards those things I took for granted before.



It's also taught me how strong I am. People like myself who are vulnerable to this virus have to grow an inner strength that wasn't there before. I've had to be strong because of CF anyway, but this strength I've grown is a completely different kettle of fish. I never thought that we would go through a pandemic in our lifetime. It's a very surreal and scary situation that the world is currently in right now we've all had to be strong for each other, not just for ourselves.



Watching life from the inside also made me see how incredibly exceptionally selfish people are. There's been two kinds of selfish during this lockdown, people who have put themselves first in terms of keeping themselves protected and safe from Covid. Then the other kind of selfish where people have not given a shit about rules and just done as they bloody well pleased, regardless of the risks involved. Let me tell you, in the last few weeks, I've unfollowed about 15-20 people because they have broadcasted on their Instagram stories that they have been having BBQ's with friends (before lockdown rules were eased) or having meetups near the park with a few cans. Those people have really boiled my piss. I've been ranting and raving at my phone/laptop screen for so long now. I can't think of anymore swear words I can use to describe them now!



Another thing that this shielding life has taught me is how much I have hated myself in this lockdown period. What I mean by that is now I have become a considerably angry person I've turned into. I don't mean like Hulk style angry, just being pissed off more easily than I used to be. Before lockdown, I was getting pissed off at things like a customer in work moaning about their latte being too milky or the queue in Tesco Express to get petrol taking ages to budge. Nowadays, I'm getting angry at politicians, racists, selfish people, a virus, a pandemic and just the world in general. I'm sure I'll change back to how I was before, but like I said, I really don't like the person I have become during lockdown.



Hopefully the shielding life will come to an end before 2020 is over. I think there's only so much people who are shielding can handle before going completely insane. 



Lucy
24 comments
  1. Really great and honest post, Lucy. I don't blame you for unfollowing so many people for flouting the lockdown rules - it's SO frustrating and selfish x

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    1. Thank you Jenny, it really is annoying seeing people break lockdown rules, it's just so selfish on their part x

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  2. There are far too many selfish people around. I have remained in contact with my Father during lockdown but only for delivering shopping and to support his own mental health. He is still very early in the grieving process for my Mum and all his elderly neighbours are shielding so I worried about him being so isolated.

    I have been attacked on numerous occasions for this, including being accused of faking my Mum's death just so I can drive the almost 40 mile trip once a week to deliver shopping to my Dad!

    But your last point about being angry offers a sense of understanding about how people feel. I have genuinely enjoyed lockdown, but then I have been in work most of it, So I guess it is easy to forget how others feel about it and how they may view things very differently.

    Although don't get me wrong, those that have been to get their haircut, raced to the beaches and any other activity that we've been told to avoid have really made me mad too, almost hulk like at times because all I wanted to do was go in to my Dad's house and give him the physical contact I know he needs as he still misses my Mum's cuddles(they were pretty awesome!)

    Such an honest and valuable post Lucy, thank you x x

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    1. I bet your Father has really appreciated you being there for him to help with his shopping Claire. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum passing away. I can't imagine the pain you, your Dad and the rest of your family have been through.

      I hate that people have picked on you for that, they're probably the ones who are breaking the rules, not you!

      It makes me mad that so many people have broken lockdown rules (before restrictions were eased) and have not cared about the welfare of others! xx

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  3. I can totally understand why you've been unfollowing people. I saw one of my best friends post on Instagram that she was in London spending the weekend with some of her friends and a photo of them. London is 250 miles from home, and she's stood with a group of people from different households. I was so annoyed, and that's someone from real life, so I can definitely see the need to hit the unfollow button when it's simply someone on Twitter or Instagram. And you're definitely not alone in not liking how this has impacted you in terms of personality too. It's so easy to feel that way when we're stuck inside with not a lot else to do or think about. Having said that, a lot of the things you listed sound like legitimate things to be angry about. And I know this probably doesn't mean a lot while your'e stuck inside, but I'd much rather be in Wales right now. I think the English response has been irresponsible in a lot of ways x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. That's awful that one of your best friends did that during lockdown! I don't blame you for being annoyed, I would have been if it was one of my friends! Wales and Scotland have handled this pandemic so much better than England have, I'm so glad I live in Wales right now! x

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  4. This is such a great post! I totally agree about being annoyed by how selfish people can be. It really shows you peoples true colours, and it's not pretty. I honestly wished I lived in Wales, as I think the English response hasn't exactly been the best, as has been made clear by whats happened to Leicester xx

    Hannah | https://luxuryblush.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you Hannah! A few people have also said to me that they wished they lived in Wales right now! xx

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  5. I love your honesty Lucy. I don't blame you for feeling a little hate and anger! In fact, during recent days when I've had the opportunity to head into my city centre, I felt more anger than ever before and realised how strongly I felt about the situation at hand. This pandemic has really brought out the worst in people. I'm not sure if it's a lack of education from the public or just a lack of care but, for the most part people have gone back to normal and just aren't being considerate to others. These thoughts have been stressing me out, especially as I work in healthcare and see what it's like when people are truly on the death bed.

    Kate | thetlittlecrunch.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Kate! You're right when you say that this pandemic has brought out the worst in people, it really has. As you're somebody who works in healthcare, it must be very annoying for you seeing people breaking the rules when you're helping others x

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  6. Hey Lucy!
    Girl I feel you on this!!! Never in my life did i ever think the world would stop because of something we can't actually see! 😂
    On the whole I've enjoyed lockdown & all that's come with it but going to a restaurant for the first time will be a wonderful experience. 🍴🍷

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    1. Oh I know! I hope you enjoy going to the restaurant when you're allowed to!

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  7. If I'm honest it's taught me a lot about myself. Mainly that I don't need to get out and about to feel happy and positive. Before when I was isolated at home I was miserable but eventually became too scares to leave. Now, a year later, I'm loving being in my own home away from people, but I'm still excited to get back to the world. I feel like my confidence has bloomed.

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    1. I'm glad that you have found your happiness during lockdown lovely! x

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  8. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I thought at the beginning of this that Diabetics should have shielded to, as it would have helped me with my anxiety about going places, which I still have now the social distance has been reduced to 1m+ which I still think should be 2m! Hope you keeping well at the moment :)

    Nic | Nic's Adventures & Bakes

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    1. Yeah I'm a diabetic also as well as having CF so there's a need to be extra careful on my part! It should definitely still be 2m distance I think, it's too early to shorten the distance!

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  9. Thanks for sharing!

    www.blossomikebana.com

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  10. I can't even imagine how hard it has been to not be able to go out properly past your garden, to then see idiotic people flouting the rules....even the UK Goverment! Even though I work in healthcare, and it has been hell at times, I still feel lucky that I have been able to keep my normal routine (even though I would have loved to be at home for a while). Hope August comes around quickly for you, although I still think the Goverment have moved a bit too quick with some of the easing!

    Aimsy xoxo
    Aimsy’s Antics

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    1. Thank you Aimsy, I hope you're doing ok in your job at the moment! I think they've eased it too quickly also, they're more interested in the economy than people's lives! xx

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  11. I really love your honesty here! I've heard of a number of people completely ignoring the social distancing/isolating guidelines (friends of friends etc) and it makes me so bloody angry! I feel like in the UK they've lifted the lockdown rules a little bit too soon (especially the pub side of things - the pictures I saw from last weekend genuinely filled me with anxiety!) and like you said, they've put the economy above people's health. I ventured out to a couple of shops this weekend but the amount of people who didn't bother with social distancing was just awful! I hope that August comes around quickly for you and that you can get some normality back! I totally agree that they haven't really considered people's mental health among all of this! Lots of love to you xxx

    Amy | sassycatlady.com

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    1. I really think they have lifted things too soon as well Amy, I think people just seem to think that because the pubs and shops are open, they think the pandemic has gone away! Like you said, people have seemed to forgotten about social distancing and are not respectful of others, especially those who are vulnerable to the virus! xxx

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  12. I love how honest this post is. I redid all of my bra straps too, we must both be going barmy!

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    1. Haha we must have been Kelly, but I'm glad I did do that as they kept slipping on my shoulders and it was doing my head in!

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