5 June 2017

Viridity

Definition – Naïve Innocence

Even to this day in society, acting and looking innocent means that you’re naïve, gullible and don’t know anything adult-y at all. Just because you’re not the sort of person who likes to hobble around in ankle-achingly high heels in town at 3am absolutely paralytic or talk about sex comfortably in front of other people, it doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to offer to the conversation. I’m just the sort of girl who listens and won’t speak unless it’s absolutely necessary, there’s no crime in that is there? I’ll be honest, because I’ve always said to myself from day one when I started blogging that I would be totally honest with all you lovely readers, I am a very innocent girl.

For years, particularly in comprehensive school, I was always made to be felt that it was such a taboo to be innocent. Just because I kept quiet about any lads I liked or I didn’t talk about sex willy-nilly (no pun intended!…well, maybe) it didn’t mean that I was naïve. What people fail to realise is that you should never underestimate the innocent, quiet ones like myself. We’re the ones who are observing you and have got you all figured out in just one conversation. Just putting that little “fact” out there.

Having Cystic Fibrosis means that I don’t look very mature for my age. I mean, I still get ID’ed for scratch cards and Lotto tickets for fuck’s sake. I don’t mind getting ID’ed for alcohol, but getting asked for ID when I purchase a scratch card? For me, that is taking the piss a little bit!

But I do sort of like (in a weird way) watching the look on people’s faces when they see how old I really am by looking at my driving licence. Another Kodak moment.

The one thing I do get fed up of hearing from people though, and I’m sure people with CF will feel the same way I do, is when people say to you “You’ll be thankful for how young you look when you’re older”. Oh god, how frustrating it is to hear that. Such an eye roll moment.

Yes, I’ve grown to love this innocent quality that I possess, because seeing people’s dumbfounded expressions when I show them what I can really say and do is priceless. Such a Kodak moment. Well, an IPhone moment I should say.

A good example of when I completely shocked and surprised people is when I was in Liverpool and the Saturday night we went out in town, I wore a dress and heels which my friends had never seen me in, I was never one for going out until about 3 in the morning dancing and drinking during my teen years, in all honesty, I couldn’t be arsed! I felt awesome because my friends gave me compliments after their surprised looks disappeared from their faces!

So yes, I’ve grown to be bloody proud of my innocence. If you’re like me, embrace it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’d rather be quiet and guileless than loud and gobby. People are more interested and keen to know about you when you’re innocent. You have more power than anybody else. I use this power to my advantage. Well, why shouldn’t I? Because being innocent and honest doesn’t mean you are dumb and foolish, it’s exactly the opposite. You are clever and wise.

But I do think that I have changed a lot over the last 18 months. I feel I can add more to the conversation and I feel more confident enough to speak my mind. But I still want to keep my innocent quality within my personality, being innocent makes me feel empowered and confident.

“Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it” 

Lucy xx  

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