17 April 2017

I'll Never Be Her, But She Will Never Be Me

It’s a common, natural thing that we do. Compare.

Whether it is comparing car insurance (don’t start singing the Go Compare advert song, please) or comparing different makeup brands, we all look at different products to see what we like best.
But there is one type of comparison that really sets your mind into overdrive and really kills your confidence and self worth – comparing yourself to someone else.

Let’s face it, we all have a person in our lives we compare ourselves to.

You know the sort, she has all her shit together and she appears to have the perfect life. She has the taut figure, she doesn’t have a single stretchmark on her tiny body, she doesn’t suffer with wibbly-wobbly thighs when she catwalks down the street and she has no upper lip hair to worry about. Yes, there is a girl I often annoyingly and often sadly compare myself to. She has got the looks, career, slim figure, she is certainly healthier than I am! But more heartbreakingly, she’s got the man I want to be with. That hurts. That bloody hurts.

All sorts of emotions and unanswered questions run through my head, like “What has she got that I haven’t?” or “Am I really a nobody?” These questions drive me crazy and lead myself to start overthinking about my appearance and my life in general. By then I need to give myself a slap on the wrist or my friends will do that for me for letting myself feel like this.

But for some weird reason, you get drawn to search her on Instagram and you find your right thumb tapping her profile picture which leads to her Instagram profile. You want to see what she is up to and you hope in vain that she is having a bad day. You hope her hair has gone into disarray or she’s stepped in dog poop. Any little bad thing that happens to her draws small smirk on your face. Sounds a teeny bit evil I know, but sometimes it can make you feel better. But I still feel my smile turn upside down whenever I look at her. It’s such a natural reaction for me now.

But I seen this quote the other day on Pinterest which really spoke out to me:

Don’t ever compare your version of real life to someone else’s controlled online content.

Which is so true. I live a real life. She doesn’t in my eyes. That’s just my opinion. I’m not being bitter, I’m being honest. They do say  honesty is the best policy, right?

But I’ve finally decided that it is time to stop comparing myself to her.

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Because there is one thing she will never have. She will never be me. I am proud of the girl I have become today. I have overcome so many obstacles and CF problems to get to be the strong-willed, blemished, honest, kind, but more importantly, the real woman I am now. I don’t want to try and sound like I am up my own arse and be boastful, but I am proud of the life I have created for myself, I’m not quite where I want to be but I am genuinely god damn chuffed with how my life is going right now. Yes, she may have a lot more things than I do, but for me personally, it’s the people you are surrounded by that matter the most. They’re the people who pick you up when you’re feeling down. That’s worth more to me than all the money in the world.

I got one piece of advice for all you girls out there who are comparing yourself and feel low about it:

You are beautiful in your own way. You should never believe that your life is less valuable than theirs because they appear to have the good life. They say that comparison is the thief of joy, so don’t let anybody steal your joy. Be happy and proud of who you are. Embrace your flaws, not be embarrassed by them.

So girls, it’s time to value your self worth, by doing that, you can become more happy and peaceful within yourself and realise that you ARE good enough, regardless of one person who deems to have it all.

Let me know what you think in the comment box below!

Lucy xx
 
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